Erau stelute in genele ei...

*Disclaimer: Ya, I find pleasure in reading these #@$^&*) jokes. And I also wake up at night when it`s a full moon and come by your house and eat your children. Enjoy !*

Lady Di

Why did Elton John sing at Princess Diana’s funeral?
Because he was the only queen that gave a fuck.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seat belt.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

Women - misogyny

What’s the difference between a pitbull and a woman with PMS?
Lipgloss.

How do you get a fat girl into bed?
Piece of cake.

Women - revenge

How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.

Holy s#!t

Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms?
He has holes in his hands.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture.

Luvable animals

What’s black and white and red all over?
Panda rape.

What do you do if an elephant comes through the window?
Swim!

What’s got 100 balls and fucks rabbits?
A shotgun.

Labels: fun_for_everyone